Things to Forget

In life, there's always things that we

wanted to forget;

have regretted upon;

yet to be done;

couldn't forget;

nor to able to let go

But in all of these,

We tends to lead a life fill

with sorrow, regrets and dismayed

Life do go own even living through those time

The world still go around the systems,

People still move on

But deep within there's always a burden yet to be lifted

Perhaps many way have been found

to lift up such burden

some might be temporary

some might be prolonged

but these burden wouldn't left

for it sow deep within your memories

The only way was to seek God

the only love that endure forever

Are you a Workaholics ?

One day someone told me that I'm a workaholics

Thus I would like to discover whether Am I a workaholics

Workaholics are people whom indulges in their work so much so that work is their life.
In Fact, many are proud to be call as workaholics
-seemly a valued employee
-a hardworking person
-dedicated to the responsibility in work force
-one whom have deep focus in work
-multitasking
-independent
-reliable
-pillars of the workforce
-efficient
-capable to handle tough situation

however, workaholics is just another term for ones whom
-work obsession
-tendency of high workload
-lack of interest other than works
-working during off-work hours
-constantly worry
-unhealthy lifestyle
-passionate in topics about own works
-working more than 40 hours a week
-stress out due to work

Well, above listed some of the point for my cross check reference
I practically hit most of it

Conclude that, I'm indeed a workaholics to begin with

The Life Circle of a Workaholic

The tendency of workaholics in workforce give an impact not only as a role model but
as a motivator to others.
In every workforce, there must be at least one workaholic whom stand out more than others
Being a workaholics, can be a good and a bad thing at the same time

A workaholics practically a strong pillar of a workforce but have less of his/her own life
Their daily life style is pretty constrain within their work field.
Their mind is filled only with great amount of work-related thought

Not many workaholics are good in managing their own life

They may be the general / key player of the workforce
but might or might not be a role model back home

So time to find out are you a Workaholics as well

1) Have you dream of your work?
2) Most of your reading materials are work-related?
3) Have you ever spend your day off with work-related task?
4) Do you spend more than 40 hours in a week at work?
5) Is work the activity your like to do best and talk about most?
6) Do you take complete responsibility for the outcome of your work?
7) Do you think it's okay to work long hours as long you love what you doing?
8) Do you work or read during meals?
9) Do you read your company email once your mailbox prompt a "New Message"?
10) Do you feel irritated when someone stop you during your work to do something else?
11) Do you constantly worry of your work even things is going well?
12) Do you feel feel restless during off-work hours?

If you answer "Yes" for 4 or more question as stated above,
You are indeed a workaholics as I am

Don't worry, you are not alone

Reflection of 2013

Looking upon the days flow by in year 2013

To what I remembered, year 2013 didn't started as great as it should have been

many thing was filled with uncertainty, sorrow of the past, injuries that yet to be mend

Fear upon what lies in the past, and what ups ahead

Looking back at whom I was back then,

One whom care so much on the people whom have gone by

Wonder of the return of peoples whom no longer care

Longing to things that yet no longer belong

Striving for a new beginning, a journey to start the pace

Pondering upon the days which I have sat at the edge of my desperation

that one day, I could let down the past that dragged me long long ago

In Year 2013,

-A year which I learnt to let go of things and peoples whom no longer belong

start to see thing in wider prospects then just solely people I longing to be with

-Year which I left Australia and return to Malaysia

-Graduated from University of Queensland

-Pondering of future path

-Started my career footstep in BP Healthcare Group

-Ended the years with great colleague in company

Regardless what have been the past,

memories start to fade gradually and slowly fading,

hatred become dull and blurry

the longing of returns have no longer there

Though my life have not been brighter than previous

nor my social circle have been growing any larger but become smaller

I appreciate the people whom come and goes,

those whom let me realise how naive I was, though I still hold on to those principles

I believe one day, my persistent will reign in the way I desire

Never to deny, the facts that, people whom encircled me,

they came for a reason, left for another reason

Perhaps, that how my social circle became,

People come and goes, bring various memories and encounter to newer discovery and knowledge

Through these encounters, most are sad memories that disheartening whilst least are enlightening memories

The biggest lesson I have learnt this year,

Learning to Let Go of the past

Seem simple to some, but difficult for someone like me

Letting Go is much more difficult than how it's spoken

Many once told me, to let go of this or that

however, what I have been doing is "Holding On"

Holding on in a "not-a-good-way" to people or things have no longer put any concern

whether am I holding on or letting go

Stubbornness of such been a real torture and pain in year 2012, have brought forward to 2013

however as time passes, the grip that was once firm and steady, become loose and wavy

I guess during that time, my grip have been laid on to another prospect of my life

which is my occupation/jobs

I finally found back the passion to work back as a team leader as I was back then

finishing study (degree) have made me lose the Fire/ Passion for striving forward

Getting back into a busy and occupied job which I'm in,

have occupied most of my time in my work

From terrified of syringe and needles

to holding a syringe to perform venipuncture to customers

From blood phobia

to handling blood samples on daily routine

From zero interest in my job

to passionate indulge in my work and even starting to expanding further

Yet as imperfect of who I am,

I learn along the way,

Gratitude always to those whom are around to assist and guide

A team leader is never better without the people in the team

I'm never once proud to be the shepherd but glad to those that standby together to follow my lead

In a working premises, I'm glad to have my team mates around,

to support,

to enriched one another,

to be the pillar of our branch

I'm never capable to do any of such great extend without the availability of talents my colleagues have to utilized to its limit

During such hectic workload, gradually made me grew to a higher leaps of my life

From minimal capability, to extended capability.

From a staff without any experience, to one whom leading a whole team of staff

Life fill with ups and downs

but be gratitude to those whom comes and goes

every seeds of memories that planted in each and every moment of your life

sprout into a bud that bloom one day

Life might be tough as it seen at its moment,

however looking back later on,

it wasn't that tough after all

As long there's desire to move forward,

no one can stop

is a matter of choice and determination

Past memories have been kept behind,

Present memories have been through

Knowledge and attitude have been built

Determination have been prevail

That the glory of His to be reviewed

May Year 2014 be another exciting year

whether how tough the storms to comes,

My resolution remain the same

Be Still during the Storm

For Whom knows what's ahead

Nothing is too heavy to bear

only One will is too weak to breach

Stand firm and still for what lies ahead is greater

than what lies in front

Let the past remain in the past

let memories be kept as "memories"

a lesson, a course, a foundation

for future upcomings

Keep be renewed with new challenges to come

New encounters to be fought

New Height to be leaps

New Memories to be kept

Looking back is not that bad after all

For what lies in the past,

what meant for what coming up ahead

Memories that never fade

Today, as I sat in my car, looking at a street not far away from UCSI, reminded me of scene that caught me breathless and nervous and panic. Reminded me time where was so long ago, a scene where she was in the car with someone else, sat alone with him and I was distant away looking over her, worrying her safety, anxious of upcoming scene and fill with worries and panicking over the scenario. It was 2years ago yet it been hidden in memories which I wish to hide to remember. One of the memories that gave me tremendous fear deep inside my heart.

Looking on the mirror

During these time of the year 2013,

I sat down for many days and weeks
waiting for a direction and paths for my life

After graduation,
Nothing seem to be progressing

As though everything have stopped

My life goes on as
Sleep, Eat, Play, Sleep

Gradually my life became off balanced
Pace become slower and slower

Life become stationary with the same routine

Nevertheless,
Scale increases due to lack of exercise

Till one day,
Call for job interview comes

Prepared everything needed for interviews

Till that very day
Started looking for the right shirt to put on

Then i realize how much changes have comes forth

Shirt started to felt tight and unease
Pant getting hard to fit in

Then i realize how slack I was in the past 3 month
How much slower my body and mind have become

I started to feel disappointment that my job interview might screw up
due to my body image

I felt really horrible to an extend don't feel like going

On top of it, second interview call have rang up
I feel even bad about it

I have no idea how am I going to fix myself in time for it

Looking at the mirror,
at myself
I feel horrible and despite how i look
I thought i was okay
as regular shirt still fit in well and nothing wrong with it
But i was wrong

Im going off-shaped

It's about time to get really into it
I need to slim down...

I think i would reject all job interview and get my self back on track
-though i felt they probably wont accept me due to my body image

All these while, I have not had a right desire or motivation to slim down
but i guess my heart relying on outer factor for motivation
rather than doing it for myself

till then i realize, 2 years back till now,
I have not knew how to love myself

I must do it to really put this to the end,

Troubled

Why would I be so troubled over things that no longer concern me?

What are my directions/paths?

Till every night, getting to sleep seem so hard

Why do I care so much?

Unforgettable Memories

Upon returning to Malaysia,

A place where I spent most of my years in

Memories of one person been repeated flowing out in my mind

Dreams that filled with the journey We spent together

We been apart for almost 2years from now

but everything just seem so new

Every single places that we went to,

There's a piece of torn memories that laid behind

Going to those places just like treasure hunt-ing

the hidden pieces of memories

Although our friendship wasn't long

It was just 2 years but the memories that

you sown in my heart is everlasting

Though i have not forgotten the past

but I will strive forward

For I, no longer dwell in the past

that fill with my unworthy act upon you

The journey were splendid and fruitful

that You will never be forgotten

Though none will know

Though none will understand

But You made a special place in my heart

You are my unforgettable memories

One whom changed my life

One whom there when I'm weak

One whom never fail to smile

and

One whom I never hold on tightly

One whom I hurt the most

I long to see you once again

even as a road-crossed

The path that we will cross

when will it be?

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, (Phil 3:13)

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past

For I know, there's greater thing ahead that awaits me

I'm sure God will unseal this chain one day

A day where revelation and truth come forth