Things to Forget

In life, there's always things that we

wanted to forget;

have regretted upon;

yet to be done;

couldn't forget;

nor to able to let go

But in all of these,

We tends to lead a life fill

with sorrow, regrets and dismayed

Life do go own even living through those time

The world still go around the systems,

People still move on

But deep within there's always a burden yet to be lifted

Perhaps many way have been found

to lift up such burden

some might be temporary

some might be prolonged

but these burden wouldn't left

for it sow deep within your memories

The only way was to seek God

the only love that endure forever

Are you a Workaholics ?

One day someone told me that I'm a workaholics

Thus I would like to discover whether Am I a workaholics

Workaholics are people whom indulges in their work so much so that work is their life.
In Fact, many are proud to be call as workaholics
-seemly a valued employee
-a hardworking person
-dedicated to the responsibility in work force
-one whom have deep focus in work
-multitasking
-independent
-reliable
-pillars of the workforce
-efficient
-capable to handle tough situation

however, workaholics is just another term for ones whom
-work obsession
-tendency of high workload
-lack of interest other than works
-working during off-work hours
-constantly worry
-unhealthy lifestyle
-passionate in topics about own works
-working more than 40 hours a week
-stress out due to work

Well, above listed some of the point for my cross check reference
I practically hit most of it

Conclude that, I'm indeed a workaholics to begin with

The Life Circle of a Workaholic

The tendency of workaholics in workforce give an impact not only as a role model but
as a motivator to others.
In every workforce, there must be at least one workaholic whom stand out more than others
Being a workaholics, can be a good and a bad thing at the same time

A workaholics practically a strong pillar of a workforce but have less of his/her own life
Their daily life style is pretty constrain within their work field.
Their mind is filled only with great amount of work-related thought

Not many workaholics are good in managing their own life

They may be the general / key player of the workforce
but might or might not be a role model back home

So time to find out are you a Workaholics as well

1) Have you dream of your work?
2) Most of your reading materials are work-related?
3) Have you ever spend your day off with work-related task?
4) Do you spend more than 40 hours in a week at work?
5) Is work the activity your like to do best and talk about most?
6) Do you take complete responsibility for the outcome of your work?
7) Do you think it's okay to work long hours as long you love what you doing?
8) Do you work or read during meals?
9) Do you read your company email once your mailbox prompt a "New Message"?
10) Do you feel irritated when someone stop you during your work to do something else?
11) Do you constantly worry of your work even things is going well?
12) Do you feel feel restless during off-work hours?

If you answer "Yes" for 4 or more question as stated above,
You are indeed a workaholics as I am

Don't worry, you are not alone

Reflection of 2013

Looking upon the days flow by in year 2013

To what I remembered, year 2013 didn't started as great as it should have been

many thing was filled with uncertainty, sorrow of the past, injuries that yet to be mend

Fear upon what lies in the past, and what ups ahead

Looking back at whom I was back then,

One whom care so much on the people whom have gone by

Wonder of the return of peoples whom no longer care

Longing to things that yet no longer belong

Striving for a new beginning, a journey to start the pace

Pondering upon the days which I have sat at the edge of my desperation

that one day, I could let down the past that dragged me long long ago

In Year 2013,

-A year which I learnt to let go of things and peoples whom no longer belong

start to see thing in wider prospects then just solely people I longing to be with

-Year which I left Australia and return to Malaysia

-Graduated from University of Queensland

-Pondering of future path

-Started my career footstep in BP Healthcare Group

-Ended the years with great colleague in company

Regardless what have been the past,

memories start to fade gradually and slowly fading,

hatred become dull and blurry

the longing of returns have no longer there

Though my life have not been brighter than previous

nor my social circle have been growing any larger but become smaller

I appreciate the people whom come and goes,

those whom let me realise how naive I was, though I still hold on to those principles

I believe one day, my persistent will reign in the way I desire

Never to deny, the facts that, people whom encircled me,

they came for a reason, left for another reason

Perhaps, that how my social circle became,

People come and goes, bring various memories and encounter to newer discovery and knowledge

Through these encounters, most are sad memories that disheartening whilst least are enlightening memories

The biggest lesson I have learnt this year,

Learning to Let Go of the past

Seem simple to some, but difficult for someone like me

Letting Go is much more difficult than how it's spoken

Many once told me, to let go of this or that

however, what I have been doing is "Holding On"

Holding on in a "not-a-good-way" to people or things have no longer put any concern

whether am I holding on or letting go

Stubbornness of such been a real torture and pain in year 2012, have brought forward to 2013

however as time passes, the grip that was once firm and steady, become loose and wavy

I guess during that time, my grip have been laid on to another prospect of my life

which is my occupation/jobs

I finally found back the passion to work back as a team leader as I was back then

finishing study (degree) have made me lose the Fire/ Passion for striving forward

Getting back into a busy and occupied job which I'm in,

have occupied most of my time in my work

From terrified of syringe and needles

to holding a syringe to perform venipuncture to customers

From blood phobia

to handling blood samples on daily routine

From zero interest in my job

to passionate indulge in my work and even starting to expanding further

Yet as imperfect of who I am,

I learn along the way,

Gratitude always to those whom are around to assist and guide

A team leader is never better without the people in the team

I'm never once proud to be the shepherd but glad to those that standby together to follow my lead

In a working premises, I'm glad to have my team mates around,

to support,

to enriched one another,

to be the pillar of our branch

I'm never capable to do any of such great extend without the availability of talents my colleagues have to utilized to its limit

During such hectic workload, gradually made me grew to a higher leaps of my life

From minimal capability, to extended capability.

From a staff without any experience, to one whom leading a whole team of staff

Life fill with ups and downs

but be gratitude to those whom comes and goes

every seeds of memories that planted in each and every moment of your life

sprout into a bud that bloom one day

Life might be tough as it seen at its moment,

however looking back later on,

it wasn't that tough after all

As long there's desire to move forward,

no one can stop

is a matter of choice and determination

Past memories have been kept behind,

Present memories have been through

Knowledge and attitude have been built

Determination have been prevail

That the glory of His to be reviewed

May Year 2014 be another exciting year

whether how tough the storms to comes,

My resolution remain the same

Be Still during the Storm

For Whom knows what's ahead

Nothing is too heavy to bear

only One will is too weak to breach

Stand firm and still for what lies ahead is greater

than what lies in front

Let the past remain in the past

let memories be kept as "memories"

a lesson, a course, a foundation

for future upcomings

Keep be renewed with new challenges to come

New encounters to be fought

New Height to be leaps

New Memories to be kept

Looking back is not that bad after all

For what lies in the past,

what meant for what coming up ahead

Memories that never fade

Today, as I sat in my car, looking at a street not far away from UCSI, reminded me of scene that caught me breathless and nervous and panic. Reminded me time where was so long ago, a scene where she was in the car with someone else, sat alone with him and I was distant away looking over her, worrying her safety, anxious of upcoming scene and fill with worries and panicking over the scenario. It was 2years ago yet it been hidden in memories which I wish to hide to remember. One of the memories that gave me tremendous fear deep inside my heart.

Looking on the mirror

During these time of the year 2013,

I sat down for many days and weeks
waiting for a direction and paths for my life

After graduation,
Nothing seem to be progressing

As though everything have stopped

My life goes on as
Sleep, Eat, Play, Sleep

Gradually my life became off balanced
Pace become slower and slower

Life become stationary with the same routine

Nevertheless,
Scale increases due to lack of exercise

Till one day,
Call for job interview comes

Prepared everything needed for interviews

Till that very day
Started looking for the right shirt to put on

Then i realize how much changes have comes forth

Shirt started to felt tight and unease
Pant getting hard to fit in

Then i realize how slack I was in the past 3 month
How much slower my body and mind have become

I started to feel disappointment that my job interview might screw up
due to my body image

I felt really horrible to an extend don't feel like going

On top of it, second interview call have rang up
I feel even bad about it

I have no idea how am I going to fix myself in time for it

Looking at the mirror,
at myself
I feel horrible and despite how i look
I thought i was okay
as regular shirt still fit in well and nothing wrong with it
But i was wrong

Im going off-shaped

It's about time to get really into it
I need to slim down...

I think i would reject all job interview and get my self back on track
-though i felt they probably wont accept me due to my body image

All these while, I have not had a right desire or motivation to slim down
but i guess my heart relying on outer factor for motivation
rather than doing it for myself

till then i realize, 2 years back till now,
I have not knew how to love myself

I must do it to really put this to the end,

Troubled

Why would I be so troubled over things that no longer concern me?

What are my directions/paths?

Till every night, getting to sleep seem so hard

Why do I care so much?

Unforgettable Memories

Upon returning to Malaysia,

A place where I spent most of my years in

Memories of one person been repeated flowing out in my mind

Dreams that filled with the journey We spent together

We been apart for almost 2years from now

but everything just seem so new

Every single places that we went to,

There's a piece of torn memories that laid behind

Going to those places just like treasure hunt-ing

the hidden pieces of memories

Although our friendship wasn't long

It was just 2 years but the memories that

you sown in my heart is everlasting

Though i have not forgotten the past

but I will strive forward

For I, no longer dwell in the past

that fill with my unworthy act upon you

The journey were splendid and fruitful

that You will never be forgotten

Though none will know

Though none will understand

But You made a special place in my heart

You are my unforgettable memories

One whom changed my life

One whom there when I'm weak

One whom never fail to smile

and

One whom I never hold on tightly

One whom I hurt the most

I long to see you once again

even as a road-crossed

The path that we will cross

when will it be?

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, (Phil 3:13)

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past

For I know, there's greater thing ahead that awaits me

I'm sure God will unseal this chain one day

A day where revelation and truth come forth 

It have been awhile

Another years have once again slipped through

Another friendship have gone by

It have been awhile

We last met

The ever last time

I saw your smile

It have been awhile

We last talk

The ever last time

I heard your voice

Times have been flowing

like a sand glass

Every seconds dropping

like a drizzling sand

Have I forgotten you?

I have never forgotten you

For you have forgotten me

The everything we once held Dear

I count it all as loss

For we went into

different directions

The moments that crossed path

The memories that lies within us

The times that we shared together

It all have been awhile

When will be the next time we meet?

Will that day ever comes?

Heaven knows

Long to see you once again

Helpless

What more can be done

Leaf in river flow

I have been thinking over and over my days

What kind of life have I been going through?

Why have my life been rather different ?

What was I meant to be??


Looking back at those days

Realize nothing last

Neither do any feeling that's does not perished

I guess it have been my problem all the while

Pondering worth nothing

As its bring worthless thought and burning precious time

If I were to choose, I wish there's we're more things I could do..

What could I live a meaningful life than burning each day doing worthless things

When comes to a time where you try to finish up those remaining time of the day

It just shown how empty is your life have been

Trying to live a life by hoping time to travels

Living a life without a motive


What mores empty than such living??

An aimless life is just like a leaf flowing in the river stream without an ending not knowing the finish line..

Letting life burnt in such way, what more worthless can it be

Perseverance

Looking back my walk in my academic career,

It was all splendid and well performed throughout the years since

the downfall in 2000 and I have rose up to be academic well performed

Unimaginable that throughout all these time of studies

I have been in good form all the while

Never to be known that in this year

Year 2012

The very last year of my degree, the very last semester before my graduation

I had Failed one subject

and I ruined my whole academic performance record

Amazingly how i have to face others around me

Whom about to graduate

Whom long to expect my graduation

Whom been dearly waiting for this moment to graduate

Whom anticipate for it to come

Even facing myself

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I found it easy to tell people to persevere throughout hard time as I had did it in the past

but ridiculously when this moment of time came forth

I felt completely helpless and ashamed of myself

Why would i not passed this exam..

I couldn't sleep well but I know it doesn't make a difference

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel so ashamed of myself

shame to the family

even broken the heart of people that have high hope for my graduation

I felt so useless and helpless

that i asked

Why do this have to happened to me at this time?

Why not last semester?

Why now?

It's just so disappointing when see-ing hope for future

and 12hours after that

Went back to Darkness

I had able to convince the Faculty to allow me to pursuit my master in 2013

even though closing date was 31/10/2012

But on the another hand, the result came out to be a disappointing one

I doubt my dad would allow me to continue study

as i have been such a disgrace to him

Now I'm very indecisive of my future
Whether should I still apply for Master
Should I just leave Brisbane and forget about Master
or
What should i really do about my life


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I thought things was just gotten better between the relationship

with my family and even people around me

But then,

Obviously it's a turned down once again

If this was meant to test my faith and walk

or even to strengthen me

I just have to persevere through these hard times

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a mixed feeling

One side of me told to be strong that everything is fine and God is in control

Another side of me, i felt deep sorrow and pain that i couldn't express it out

and trying to smile and be happy to every person that i know

whether they knew my result or not

I just trying so hard to endure this pain and shame

Telling every single soul

That "I'm fine, I'm okay"

Everything is good

But deep down inside,

I have a total broken of dignity and faith

and even on myself

I'm trying so hard to be alright

but it's just so hard to endure 

the degree of disappointment

My hope and future just burnt in flame

the moments i saw the right path
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Perseverance throughout the life-tearing moment

Can I do it?

Maybe... Maybe not

But at all time

I know I just have to walk through this pathway

The disheartening things is not what I felt

but the degree of disappointment that others lay down on me

the degree of disheartened and upset and longing to see my graduation

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm very sorry that I had failed

I'm just a star that lost it brightness

Fading in the mist

Why is it November again!!

Why do all these bad things come in November?

Last Year and This year again?!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whether how hard things come forth

I will stand strong and face it

Perseverance to await transformation

a heart to seek breakthrough in life

Going through these was to make me stronger

Perhaps,

I have been overlooking small blessing in my studies

that i can not value until it been stripped away

Appreciation

This Videos remind me of how much things had happened between two best friends being together
and fall in love..

Going through various struggles and partnership through works
However, It reminded me how much i have taken granted of my friendship with a very dear friend of mine

The videos ended with a happy ending
but my life story ended different...

Because I have not full appreciated her presence...

May God lead reconciliation to come upon

Appreciate what in front of you...
You never know how much people around you
trying to get your acknowledgement

and you never know how deep is the cut they went through

Don't regret in future on the things you missed out

I missed out mine... and it's still a deep remorse in my heart

Trust

Across these period of time;

from experiencing so many different obstacles in life

Meeting various type of people

Emitting different type of interest in each of them

I start to ponder.........

In many various people come forth to joint in a path together

or

by chances bump at a cross junctions

How many of them truly meant for you?

Are they your best friends?

Regular friends?

Partners?

Soul mate?

Various thought came into my mind

thinking how each of them changed

and 

manipulated my life in every step

I have stepped forth to move forward

Learning from various aspect

from Friendship - Love partners

What keeping people together?

*.~.*.~.*.*.~.*.~.*Trust *.~.*.~.*.*.~.*.~.*

Because my trust have been repeated violated

by various people

regards of different issues

One thing that always keeping strongly

"Can I trust you?"

Inevitable that many important peoples

in my life comes and went off

From Buddy become Hi-Bye friends

From partner became road-passers

From love partner become complete foreigner

People come and goes

Nothing can be changed

When new peoples came into my life

Gradually building trust,

Matter of times, It will be violated again

I start to asked myself

Is it that important to have an in-violated trust?

Even some with such simple thought

tends to lies and cheats

What have the world became to be?

A world of violation of faith and trust?

Perhaps myself have been one of them

I started to give affection to specific people

but times do tell that

Only the Right one Deserve it

which I have never met the right one

*.~.*.~.*Friends*.~.*.~.*

Conversations became dull and ugly

Intentions became boring and random

Even friends who proclaims as Brothers and Buddies

they betrays and backstabbing

Where about those Listen-And-Forget?

*.~.*.~.*Partner*.~.*.~.*

From a Heart filled with expectation in faith

to a heart filled with suspicious in trust

Joy to Sorrow

Expectation to Disappointment

Conversation fill with coverage and lies

Proclaim with true heart but Continue with Sins

Pure honesty to Pure treachery

Declare to Love but Failed to Commit 

*.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.*

What had life meant to be in such Affliction

Where is the Flawless Trust?

Human - Human Relationship is

filled with divergence

*.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.*

Living in such Erroneous Life

How would things be right?

Trust no longer dwell in present

Who else can I lay my rest on?

*.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.*

It's just like a Wine Glass

filled in a Delicate and Well Conspired Glass

with Astringent, Racy and Ample Wine

Scattered and Disintegrated

to

Decrepitude

Intersperse to pieces of diminutive glass

*.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*

Reflection

A blink of eye
It's almost an year after my life have changed in 2011

Reflection of what happened during 2011,
still made a remarkable year in my life

Tons of changes happened and went through that brought me
whom am i today

A completely different person

Thinking back that time,
When storm came to my life,
it was around this period of time

When exams were near, time were limited
yet issues were booming up beneath of life

Suddenly It reminded me that my life wasn't as simple as that

What happened in the past, made who am i today

In the heaviest storm in life,
Counting my every single blessing that people around me have given

indeed, true enough in 2011
I lost 2 very precious people in my life

2 person whom no longer walk a journey in my life anymore

Departed to different junctions and paths that might not be
linked up again as in we were in the past

2 different people

Tremendous life events, lessons, understanding and even growth

I hereby thanks both of you for once walking in that journey with me

It have been a tremendous wonderful path whether was it happiness, sorrow
pain, joy or even heart breaking moments.

It all have been seeded beneath my memories that you were important in my life

Although lots of things play in role for all these happening,
but the happy memories have never faded..

One taught me:
-importance of appreciating the one that loved you
-crucial plays of timing in life events
-making the right choice to let go what have reaches its time limit
-learn the pain and sorrow of waiting for the one that loved
-importance of not taking ones presence for granted
-learnt to love the right one not the one that doesn't
-there's always a second choice in life
-let not be stubborn on own principal as it might hurt others
-Appreciation to best friend
-Shall not hide feeling
-Expression of joy and willing to share
-Be able to speak the truth out of own heart
-Learning to be humble and gentle upon others
-Self-pride worth nothing


One taught me:
-importance to respect own partner
-importance of freedom
-love the one that love you, not just the one you love
-learn to love myself before loving others
-learn to be sensitive and caring
-Importance of communication
-Importance of a strong relationship
-Mutual happiness in a relationship
-Most importantly, letting go what does not belongs

Many more i have learnt from these 2 individuals that changed my entire life to begin with

Nevertheless, receiving the best salvation in life in 2012..

Times past, our journey together have just moved on for a year..

I miss both of you but at the same time, I know there's no longer
the chance to reconcile until the days been planned to comes

Blessed to those that are humble to seek forgiveness and be gracious to forgive others...

Traces , Footsteps and Thankful Heart

18.09.2012

For every single person whose birthday is about to reach,
I'm sure most people would be excited how would they have fun , party, chillax, and go crazy with friends
However, this year my feeling for it was stressful and await for a particular someone

Before,
Days before,
My friends were discussing,
Would "she" wish you during your birthday as she did to us?
Well, i know deep down my heart; She wouldn't do so and I really anticipate for it
***However, she never wished or spoken to me on my birthday anyway***
-Apparently i was stressful back then and worry if it would come. I even told brothers and sisters around me
that i wouldn't wish my birthday ever come as I know i might be hurt.

on 17.09.2012,
I keep wishing that my birthday wouldn't be a hard one to go through.
People around me keep telling me,
"It's past.
You care too much about someone who doesn't care about you
Why do you have to carry so much burden in your back and caring for those that never value it."

"You been a very caring person for everyone around you although you might just care and concern in silent sometime, however the heart of yours have been felt by lots of people. And the people that you brought forth here and been impacted have foreseen the caring heart of yours"

"But past odd to keep it in the past, time will make it possible for reconciliation with those that have left. It will come to present one day or another. It's time to re-anew. Let go the past and move on forth"

I eventually still haven't been able to do so. But when time comes closer to the night,
Friends from places around started wishing beforehand,

Initially, my heart was still blunt and stress.
But when thing keep coming,
Blessing and wishes keep showering from above

It just made things so much easy.

I ended up speaking to friend that have not been in contact for ages
Keep in touch with one another.. Been chatting for a long time

I'm actually never alone.
It was myself that have been self-confining and being too stubborn on the past.

18.09.2012
It was midnight 0000 , was still talking with some friend

A particular friend i would really want to thank for is Ashley;
Although we ain't particular close but she always just so "good-timing" in checking me out
-never failed to lift up my stress and upset. Always been a very good and wonderful friend
to be able to know about my feeling, just like a snap away.

She said something really cute yet touching that actually filled my feeling a lot
"She didn't wish you then never mind, I would wish you twice "Happy Birthday" so you still receive the same amount of wishes even without her"

Really thankful for her encouragement and even stood firm and being such a cheerful person. t
Such a blessing!!!

----She started my birthday with a very encouragement words and make my heart started to accept blessing and wishes from others and make myself joyous and appreciate of my present and people around----

*****Around 4am, my Facebook been flooded with almost 100 wishes and blessing*****
Thanks you for all the blessing and wishes that rain/showered down my Facebook wall.. I actually reply them till i fall asleep.. Aiks


The afternoon, I woke up and attend Campus Lunch! theme was "Happy Hats"
Have a very good afternoon lunch with bunch of awesome people and able to rejoice with everyone there.
Although i didn't really tell it was my birthday but eventually it was really awesome.

Played some interesting ice-breaking games and everyone was happy and I was very happy and enjoying myself..

It ended at 2pm. Then my mind was thinking..
"Gosh, my day is ending and going to head home and rot "

****My day didnt ended just like that****
I bump into 2 of Lunch's friend , Josephine and Terrence
We ended up for a tea in the Albert St, Brisbane City at Tea Center.

Have an awesome tea session and the tea and environment was pleasant and unique.
-Great time !!

Along the way back,
I met Adonia at Myers Center.
A friend from QUT.
Went do some grocery shopping and catching with her for almost an hour in the mall.
Was interesting to always know more about a friend

****Honestly during that time, my phone keep prompting with Facebook notification of birthday wishes****
-Such a blessing that my days never stop being HAPPENING and Showering with Joy and Happiness

By time I'm Back home is almost 630
and leave again after 30min for meeting with some good brother and sisters
Spend some quality time with them fellowship and get to know more about life and gospel.

Interestingly time fly and it's already 930.

-Reach home I'm nearly exhausted. however I was shocked by my housemate and friend

They came into my room with a birthday cake and with few lovely ladies along..
Seriously i tell you, I'm so shy that i start to blush and was very happy to see all of them here
Just For Me..

Even though, things happening in their life was tiring and exhausting but still they make it up for my birthday

Everyone was really great!!

I'm so joyous and blessed...

And been talking to another friend back in KL for couples of hours.
An accountable and friendly friend whom is a lawyer .. Awesome yo!

****Facebook Notification never stopped prompting ****

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'* I realized one thing, I was never alone all these while. I'm surround with lots of wonder of the world and even with lots of great people and friend across the nation. Why would i be sorrow and frowning over someone that doesn't even have a forgiving and caring heart upon me? Isn't it very stupid when i start thinking back the time i wasted just to stress about that particular someone and made every single one around me to go through such hard time to convince my heart to raise up ~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~

I know it's long but this how my story went

FINALLY!

                    I would like to Thanks every single one of you whom really took the time to even dropping my Facebook to wish and shed a blessing upon my day. whether do i really know some of them or whether how much I have been not keeping in touch with them ; I'm humbly apologize for my  NoN-Sensitivity upon all the Friends that i have seldom keeping in touch and even some for many years.

                   I would also thanks my family for being such an encouraging family to keep me there all the time. and even Spiritually Family, Brothers and Sisters across the Nation whom been really supportive and encouraging. Indeed without any of you, i might not learn and cross this journey of my life and become a iconic person whom exhibit so much discomfort and discouragement at certain point of life. But your unfailing love and concern have always been in my heart. Thanks you Very Much

                 For every friend from past and presence; You guys made such a great blessing to me. Even a simple word of "Happy Birthday" i felt it was a great blessing for me. As i never really know how to appreciate blessing but on 18.09.2012, i learn to appreciate it so much and it filled me so so much!!
Thanks you for the blessing that comes from every corner of the nation and world. And i Honestly Felt all of your blessing deep down my heart.

    *Although till the end, the one i anticipated never came but its no longer important, It's PAST*

~*.'*~*.'*~*. ~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*THANKS YOU ~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*~*.'*FOR MAKING MY DAY~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'* SUCH A MEANINGFUL ONE~*.'*~*.'*~~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*

Signed off

with a 

Thankful and 

Gratitude Heart

Jason Yap (Jayz)

19.9.2012

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*

Love All that make a change in your life 

Appreciate what is there for you

Care for people regardless those that hurt or love you

Accept the Past, Proceed the Future

Letting Go is Tough, But it a Journey of Life

Past Shape who you are Today

Today and Future is a Choice of Own

Learn to LOVE

LOVE is the greatest grace given upon Mankind

Learn to love others as you have been loved

Love is a conduct

Love is a tolerance

Love is Caring

Love is Commitment

Love is Patience

Love is Humbleness

So Love with an open heart

Love the righteous one

等待

对你来说，

“等待” 

是一种幸福？

是一种痛苦？

是一种悲哀？

是一种快乐？

对我来说，

等待

是一种

慢性的毒药

孤单

心碎

绝望

悲伤

无奈

心痛

无助

只要等待才能 揭开心里想知道的

答案

心节

疑问

每一刻我都在等待

等待答案

等待注意

等待幸福

等待爱意

等待友谊

等待回答

等待某人

等待时间

等待，因为

舍不得

还期待

不放弃

还喜欢

还爱着

想守护

忘不了

想依赖

还想念

还怀念

等待的理由很单纯，很简单

就是为了某些人，某些事，某些念

人常会期待某样的事情，回忆，某人

我心里在等待的 人
 有你有她

--等待你的答案

--对我问题的答案

--我们的关系的回答

--等待你注意

--等待适合的时间

心里等待的事情

当回忆变成唯一的依靠

等待变成习惯

心里的节

再也开不了

因为在等待

一个没回应的答案

When There's is No Option

Some people doesn't dwell in the past
because a difficult choice had been made

When choice wasn't even an option

Seeking happiness in the pain was a struggle
to self deceived that you deserved someone better

Telling everyone how strong you are when you are weak beneath

When everything wasn't an option

You tried to live a life without the painful past
Telling yourself to "Let It Go"

Easy to say than to be done!

Worst of all is being humiliated by the one that left you by making it as if It was all your fault for what happened.

Complete Denial Complete Lies..
***Get a life by telling a truth than living in a life of your own made up world with lies***
***Apologize for what you done and Admit for what you had done***

That's how a responsible person should do!!


P.S : To Whom Ever it Concern,
Please identify the truth before speaking the lies..

And those that you lied to, are people that care for you
IF you wanna continue to lie, you are just hurting more people that care and love you

Just like how you hurt and lied to me.
It was you that made the choice to go to another guy
and it was you that let go of me

It was ONLY me that try to retain this relationship and NOT You

To your dearly friend,
You guys are good friends but at the same time is rather a "smart" people for living in lie by your friend
But i wouldn't critic on your wisdom and intelligent because It have been proven :)

May you guys grow Smarter in term of choosing the right and wrong and truth and lie...

I'm not sure

There's are time where
I'm not sure what I want

Time where I'm not sure
What should I do

Time where I'm not sure
How should I tell

Time where I'm not sure
Where should I go

Time where I'm not sure
Who is the one

In these year of 2012;
My life have went into a
life fill with Uncertainty.

Lots of changes
Came into my life

From:
-Relationship

-Attitude

-Behaviors

-Belief

-Social life

Things have been completely different
From who I am from the past

It's a point of life where
I'm not sure things are
Right or Wrong

-Relationship
I turned single for quite sometime now
Yet I have not decide to walk into it
Again; it's a way to protect myself
And even the people I care
It's all because I knew I'm just
Never good enough to
Deserve any lady for who I am
I'm a sinner that full with sins
Although my sins had been paid
But I still feel I'm unworthy
Regardless how much I try

I admit there are few lovely ladies
In my circle. But I'm really worry
That I could hurt another heart.
There is one that actually made me
Felt new and fresh as new
But is she the one that I really wanted?
Till now I never said a single word
To her; Timing wasn't very appropriate
As well. Though I know I would lose
Her if I never confessed; it just
Remind of another past of mine
For never confessing.
My life is fill with regret and resentment
In relationship
I had loved one so deeply in my life,
I had loved one so much and so long,
I had loved one that I should but
I never be with before;

I had lost one without a single words been said,
I had lost one due to present another party and left with lots of
Unanswered questions
I had lost one that avoided me for
Such a long time and make one's
Life dwell in myst

Am I really ready to move on to the next one?

One that we had met in such short time
One that we would be apart in 2 different places
One that we get to know each other in such a time of life

Are you the one for me?
Am I the one for you?

I'm not sure
What should I do

I'm not sure
How should I tell you

I'm not sure
Where our life will end

Together?
Apart?
Missing?
Or just another by-passer?

Obviously

Sometime we ought to do thing too obvious don't we?

当时的我们

你还记得吗？
我想念那是的我们
如果你能看得见
我想跟你说
那位朋友就是你
请你回我吧

我不知道你能看见吗
可是我希望你能
逃避并不是好办法

为何你在逃避我呢？
难道，我真的不值得你浪费一秒的时间吗？

我有东西要给你
希望你能过给我一点点的时间

我有话想跟你说