Reflection

A blink of eye
It's almost an year after my life have changed in 2011

Reflection of what happened during 2011,
still made a remarkable year in my life

Tons of changes happened and went through that brought me
whom am i today

A completely different person

Thinking back that time,
When storm came to my life,
it was around this period of time

When exams were near, time were limited
yet issues were booming up beneath of life

Suddenly It reminded me that my life wasn't as simple as that

What happened in the past, made who am i today

In the heaviest storm in life,
Counting my every single blessing that people around me have given

indeed, true enough in 2011
I lost 2 very precious people in my life

2 person whom no longer walk a journey in my life anymore

Departed to different junctions and paths that might not be
linked up again as in we were in the past

2 different people

Tremendous life events, lessons, understanding and even growth

I hereby thanks both of you for once walking in that journey with me

It have been a tremendous wonderful path whether was it happiness, sorrow
pain, joy or even heart breaking moments.

It all have been seeded beneath my memories that you were important in my life

Although lots of things play in role for all these happening,
but the happy memories have never faded..

One taught me:
-importance of appreciating the one that loved you
-crucial plays of timing in life events
-making the right choice to let go what have reaches its time limit
-learn the pain and sorrow of waiting for the one that loved
-importance of not taking ones presence for granted
-learnt to love the right one not the one that doesn't
-there's always a second choice in life
-let not be stubborn on own principal as it might hurt others
-Appreciation to best friend
-Shall not hide feeling
-Expression of joy and willing to share
-Be able to speak the truth out of own heart
-Learning to be humble and gentle upon others
-Self-pride worth nothing


One taught me:
-importance to respect own partner
-importance of freedom
-love the one that love you, not just the one you love
-learn to love myself before loving others
-learn to be sensitive and caring
-Importance of communication
-Importance of a strong relationship
-Mutual happiness in a relationship
-Most importantly, letting go what does not belongs

Many more i have learnt from these 2 individuals that changed my entire life to begin with

Nevertheless, receiving the best salvation in life in 2012..

Times past, our journey together have just moved on for a year..

I miss both of you but at the same time, I know there's no longer
the chance to reconcile until the days been planned to comes

Blessed to those that are humble to seek forgiveness and be gracious to forgive others...

Traces , Footsteps and Thankful Heart

18.09.2012

For every single person whose birthday is about to reach,
I'm sure most people would be excited how would they have fun , party, chillax, and go crazy with friends
However, this year my feeling for it was stressful and await for a particular someone

Before,
Days before,
My friends were discussing,
Would "she" wish you during your birthday as she did to us?
Well, i know deep down my heart; She wouldn't do so and I really anticipate for it
***However, she never wished or spoken to me on my birthday anyway***
-Apparently i was stressful back then and worry if it would come. I even told brothers and sisters around me
that i wouldn't wish my birthday ever come as I know i might be hurt.

on 17.09.2012,
I keep wishing that my birthday wouldn't be a hard one to go through.
People around me keep telling me,
"It's past.
You care too much about someone who doesn't care about you
Why do you have to carry so much burden in your back and caring for those that never value it."

"You been a very caring person for everyone around you although you might just care and concern in silent sometime, however the heart of yours have been felt by lots of people. And the people that you brought forth here and been impacted have foreseen the caring heart of yours"

"But past odd to keep it in the past, time will make it possible for reconciliation with those that have left. It will come to present one day or another. It's time to re-anew. Let go the past and move on forth"

I eventually still haven't been able to do so. But when time comes closer to the night,
Friends from places around started wishing beforehand,

Initially, my heart was still blunt and stress.
But when thing keep coming,
Blessing and wishes keep showering from above

It just made things so much easy.

I ended up speaking to friend that have not been in contact for ages
Keep in touch with one another.. Been chatting for a long time

I'm actually never alone.
It was myself that have been self-confining and being too stubborn on the past.

18.09.2012
It was midnight 0000 , was still talking with some friend

A particular friend i would really want to thank for is Ashley;
Although we ain't particular close but she always just so "good-timing" in checking me out
-never failed to lift up my stress and upset. Always been a very good and wonderful friend
to be able to know about my feeling, just like a snap away.

She said something really cute yet touching that actually filled my feeling a lot
"She didn't wish you then never mind, I would wish you twice "Happy Birthday" so you still receive the same amount of wishes even without her"

Really thankful for her encouragement and even stood firm and being such a cheerful person. t
Such a blessing!!!

----She started my birthday with a very encouragement words and make my heart started to accept blessing and wishes from others and make myself joyous and appreciate of my present and people around----

*****Around 4am, my Facebook been flooded with almost 100 wishes and blessing*****
Thanks you for all the blessing and wishes that rain/showered down my Facebook wall.. I actually reply them till i fall asleep.. Aiks


The afternoon, I woke up and attend Campus Lunch! theme was "Happy Hats"
Have a very good afternoon lunch with bunch of awesome people and able to rejoice with everyone there.
Although i didn't really tell it was my birthday but eventually it was really awesome.

Played some interesting ice-breaking games and everyone was happy and I was very happy and enjoying myself..

It ended at 2pm. Then my mind was thinking..
"Gosh, my day is ending and going to head home and rot "

****My day didnt ended just like that****
I bump into 2 of Lunch's friend , Josephine and Terrence
We ended up for a tea in the Albert St, Brisbane City at Tea Center.

Have an awesome tea session and the tea and environment was pleasant and unique.
-Great time !!

Along the way back,
I met Adonia at Myers Center.
A friend from QUT.
Went do some grocery shopping and catching with her for almost an hour in the mall.
Was interesting to always know more about a friend

****Honestly during that time, my phone keep prompting with Facebook notification of birthday wishes****
-Such a blessing that my days never stop being HAPPENING and Showering with Joy and Happiness

By time I'm Back home is almost 630
and leave again after 30min for meeting with some good brother and sisters
Spend some quality time with them fellowship and get to know more about life and gospel.

Interestingly time fly and it's already 930.

-Reach home I'm nearly exhausted. however I was shocked by my housemate and friend

They came into my room with a birthday cake and with few lovely ladies along..
Seriously i tell you, I'm so shy that i start to blush and was very happy to see all of them here
Just For Me..

Even though, things happening in their life was tiring and exhausting but still they make it up for my birthday

Everyone was really great!!

I'm so joyous and blessed...

And been talking to another friend back in KL for couples of hours.
An accountable and friendly friend whom is a lawyer .. Awesome yo!

****Facebook Notification never stopped prompting ****

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'* I realized one thing, I was never alone all these while. I'm surround with lots of wonder of the world and even with lots of great people and friend across the nation. Why would i be sorrow and frowning over someone that doesn't even have a forgiving and caring heart upon me? Isn't it very stupid when i start thinking back the time i wasted just to stress about that particular someone and made every single one around me to go through such hard time to convince my heart to raise up ~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~

I know it's long but this how my story went

FINALLY!

                    I would like to Thanks every single one of you whom really took the time to even dropping my Facebook to wish and shed a blessing upon my day. whether do i really know some of them or whether how much I have been not keeping in touch with them ; I'm humbly apologize for my  NoN-Sensitivity upon all the Friends that i have seldom keeping in touch and even some for many years.

                   I would also thanks my family for being such an encouraging family to keep me there all the time. and even Spiritually Family, Brothers and Sisters across the Nation whom been really supportive and encouraging. Indeed without any of you, i might not learn and cross this journey of my life and become a iconic person whom exhibit so much discomfort and discouragement at certain point of life. But your unfailing love and concern have always been in my heart. Thanks you Very Much

                 For every friend from past and presence; You guys made such a great blessing to me. Even a simple word of "Happy Birthday" i felt it was a great blessing for me. As i never really know how to appreciate blessing but on 18.09.2012, i learn to appreciate it so much and it filled me so so much!!
Thanks you for the blessing that comes from every corner of the nation and world. And i Honestly Felt all of your blessing deep down my heart.

    *Although till the end, the one i anticipated never came but its no longer important, It's PAST*

~*.'*~*.'*~*. ~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*THANKS YOU ~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*~*.'*FOR MAKING MY DAY~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'* SUCH A MEANINGFUL ONE~*.'*~*.'*~~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*

Signed off

with a 

Thankful and 

Gratitude Heart

Jason Yap (Jayz)

19.9.2012

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*

Love All that make a change in your life 

Appreciate what is there for you

Care for people regardless those that hurt or love you

Accept the Past, Proceed the Future

Letting Go is Tough, But it a Journey of Life

Past Shape who you are Today

Today and Future is a Choice of Own

Learn to LOVE

LOVE is the greatest grace given upon Mankind

Learn to love others as you have been loved

Love is a conduct

Love is a tolerance

Love is Caring

Love is Commitment

Love is Patience

Love is Humbleness

So Love with an open heart

Love the righteous one

等待

对你来说，

“等待” 

是一种幸福？

是一种痛苦？

是一种悲哀？

是一种快乐？

对我来说，

等待

是一种

慢性的毒药

孤单

心碎

绝望

悲伤

无奈

心痛

无助

只要等待才能 揭开心里想知道的

答案

心节

疑问

每一刻我都在等待

等待答案

等待注意

等待幸福

等待爱意

等待友谊

等待回答

等待某人

等待时间

等待，因为

舍不得

还期待

不放弃

还喜欢

还爱着

想守护

忘不了

想依赖

还想念

还怀念

等待的理由很单纯，很简单

就是为了某些人，某些事，某些念

人常会期待某样的事情，回忆，某人

我心里在等待的 人
 有你有她

--等待你的答案

--对我问题的答案

--我们的关系的回答

--等待你注意

--等待适合的时间

心里等待的事情

当回忆变成唯一的依靠

等待变成习惯

心里的节

再也开不了

因为在等待

一个没回应的答案

When There's is No Option

Some people doesn't dwell in the past
because a difficult choice had been made

When choice wasn't even an option

Seeking happiness in the pain was a struggle
to self deceived that you deserved someone better

Telling everyone how strong you are when you are weak beneath

When everything wasn't an option

You tried to live a life without the painful past
Telling yourself to "Let It Go"

Easy to say than to be done!

Worst of all is being humiliated by the one that left you by making it as if It was all your fault for what happened.

Complete Denial Complete Lies..
***Get a life by telling a truth than living in a life of your own made up world with lies***
***Apologize for what you done and Admit for what you had done***

That's how a responsible person should do!!


P.S : To Whom Ever it Concern,
Please identify the truth before speaking the lies..

And those that you lied to, are people that care for you
IF you wanna continue to lie, you are just hurting more people that care and love you

Just like how you hurt and lied to me.
It was you that made the choice to go to another guy
and it was you that let go of me

It was ONLY me that try to retain this relationship and NOT You

To your dearly friend,
You guys are good friends but at the same time is rather a "smart" people for living in lie by your friend
But i wouldn't critic on your wisdom and intelligent because It have been proven :)

May you guys grow Smarter in term of choosing the right and wrong and truth and lie...

I'm not sure

There's are time where
I'm not sure what I want

Time where I'm not sure
What should I do

Time where I'm not sure
How should I tell

Time where I'm not sure
Where should I go

Time where I'm not sure
Who is the one

In these year of 2012;
My life have went into a
life fill with Uncertainty.

Lots of changes
Came into my life

From:
-Relationship

-Attitude

-Behaviors

-Belief

-Social life

Things have been completely different
From who I am from the past

It's a point of life where
I'm not sure things are
Right or Wrong

-Relationship
I turned single for quite sometime now
Yet I have not decide to walk into it
Again; it's a way to protect myself
And even the people I care
It's all because I knew I'm just
Never good enough to
Deserve any lady for who I am
I'm a sinner that full with sins
Although my sins had been paid
But I still feel I'm unworthy
Regardless how much I try

I admit there are few lovely ladies
In my circle. But I'm really worry
That I could hurt another heart.
There is one that actually made me
Felt new and fresh as new
But is she the one that I really wanted?
Till now I never said a single word
To her; Timing wasn't very appropriate
As well. Though I know I would lose
Her if I never confessed; it just
Remind of another past of mine
For never confessing.
My life is fill with regret and resentment
In relationship
I had loved one so deeply in my life,
I had loved one so much and so long,
I had loved one that I should but
I never be with before;

I had lost one without a single words been said,
I had lost one due to present another party and left with lots of
Unanswered questions
I had lost one that avoided me for
Such a long time and make one's
Life dwell in myst

Am I really ready to move on to the next one?

One that we had met in such short time
One that we would be apart in 2 different places
One that we get to know each other in such a time of life

Are you the one for me?
Am I the one for you?

I'm not sure
What should I do

I'm not sure
How should I tell you

I'm not sure
Where our life will end

Together?
Apart?
Missing?
Or just another by-passer?

Obviously

Sometime we ought to do thing too obvious don't we?

当时的我们

你还记得吗？
我想念那是的我们
如果你能看得见
我想跟你说
那位朋友就是你
请你回我吧

我不知道你能看见吗
可是我希望你能
逃避并不是好办法

为何你在逃避我呢？
难道，我真的不值得你浪费一秒的时间吗？

我有东西要给你
希望你能过给我一点点的时间

我有话想跟你说