Helpless

What more can be done

Leaf in river flow

I have been thinking over and over my days

What kind of life have I been going through?

Why have my life been rather different ?

What was I meant to be??


Looking back at those days

Realize nothing last

Neither do any feeling that's does not perished

I guess it have been my problem all the while

Pondering worth nothing

As its bring worthless thought and burning precious time

If I were to choose, I wish there's we're more things I could do..

What could I live a meaningful life than burning each day doing worthless things

When comes to a time where you try to finish up those remaining time of the day

It just shown how empty is your life have been

Trying to live a life by hoping time to travels

Living a life without a motive


What mores empty than such living??

An aimless life is just like a leaf flowing in the river stream without an ending not knowing the finish line..

Letting life burnt in such way, what more worthless can it be

Perseverance

Looking back my walk in my academic career,

It was all splendid and well performed throughout the years since

the downfall in 2000 and I have rose up to be academic well performed

Unimaginable that throughout all these time of studies

I have been in good form all the while

Never to be known that in this year

Year 2012

The very last year of my degree, the very last semester before my graduation

I had Failed one subject

and I ruined my whole academic performance record

Amazingly how i have to face others around me

Whom about to graduate

Whom long to expect my graduation

Whom been dearly waiting for this moment to graduate

Whom anticipate for it to come

Even facing myself

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I found it easy to tell people to persevere throughout hard time as I had did it in the past

but ridiculously when this moment of time came forth

I felt completely helpless and ashamed of myself

Why would i not passed this exam..

I couldn't sleep well but I know it doesn't make a difference

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel so ashamed of myself

shame to the family

even broken the heart of people that have high hope for my graduation

I felt so useless and helpless

that i asked

Why do this have to happened to me at this time?

Why not last semester?

Why now?

It's just so disappointing when see-ing hope for future

and 12hours after that

Went back to Darkness

I had able to convince the Faculty to allow me to pursuit my master in 2013

even though closing date was 31/10/2012

But on the another hand, the result came out to be a disappointing one

I doubt my dad would allow me to continue study

as i have been such a disgrace to him

Now I'm very indecisive of my future
Whether should I still apply for Master
Should I just leave Brisbane and forget about Master
or
What should i really do about my life


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I thought things was just gotten better between the relationship

with my family and even people around me

But then,

Obviously it's a turned down once again

If this was meant to test my faith and walk

or even to strengthen me

I just have to persevere through these hard times

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a mixed feeling

One side of me told to be strong that everything is fine and God is in control

Another side of me, i felt deep sorrow and pain that i couldn't express it out

and trying to smile and be happy to every person that i know

whether they knew my result or not

I just trying so hard to endure this pain and shame

Telling every single soul

That "I'm fine, I'm okay"

Everything is good

But deep down inside,

I have a total broken of dignity and faith

and even on myself

I'm trying so hard to be alright

but it's just so hard to endure 

the degree of disappointment

My hope and future just burnt in flame

the moments i saw the right path
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Perseverance throughout the life-tearing moment

Can I do it?

Maybe... Maybe not

But at all time

I know I just have to walk through this pathway

The disheartening things is not what I felt

but the degree of disappointment that others lay down on me

the degree of disheartened and upset and longing to see my graduation

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm very sorry that I had failed

I'm just a star that lost it brightness

Fading in the mist

Why is it November again!!

Why do all these bad things come in November?

Last Year and This year again?!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whether how hard things come forth

I will stand strong and face it

Perseverance to await transformation

a heart to seek breakthrough in life

Going through these was to make me stronger

Perhaps,

I have been overlooking small blessing in my studies

that i can not value until it been stripped away

Appreciation

This Videos remind me of how much things had happened between two best friends being together
and fall in love..

Going through various struggles and partnership through works
However, It reminded me how much i have taken granted of my friendship with a very dear friend of mine

The videos ended with a happy ending
but my life story ended different...

Because I have not full appreciated her presence...

May God lead reconciliation to come upon

Appreciate what in front of you...
You never know how much people around you
trying to get your acknowledgement

and you never know how deep is the cut they went through

Don't regret in future on the things you missed out

I missed out mine... and it's still a deep remorse in my heart

Trust

Across these period of time;

from experiencing so many different obstacles in life

Meeting various type of people

Emitting different type of interest in each of them

I start to ponder.........

In many various people come forth to joint in a path together

or

by chances bump at a cross junctions

How many of them truly meant for you?

Are they your best friends?

Regular friends?

Partners?

Soul mate?

Various thought came into my mind

thinking how each of them changed

and 

manipulated my life in every step

I have stepped forth to move forward

Learning from various aspect

from Friendship - Love partners

What keeping people together?

*.~.*.~.*.*.~.*.~.*Trust *.~.*.~.*.*.~.*.~.*

Because my trust have been repeated violated

by various people

regards of different issues

One thing that always keeping strongly

"Can I trust you?"

Inevitable that many important peoples

in my life comes and went off

From Buddy become Hi-Bye friends

From partner became road-passers

From love partner become complete foreigner

People come and goes

Nothing can be changed

When new peoples came into my life

Gradually building trust,

Matter of times, It will be violated again

I start to asked myself

Is it that important to have an in-violated trust?

Even some with such simple thought

tends to lies and cheats

What have the world became to be?

A world of violation of faith and trust?

Perhaps myself have been one of them

I started to give affection to specific people

but times do tell that

Only the Right one Deserve it

which I have never met the right one

*.~.*.~.*Friends*.~.*.~.*

Conversations became dull and ugly

Intentions became boring and random

Even friends who proclaims as Brothers and Buddies

they betrays and backstabbing

Where about those Listen-And-Forget?

*.~.*.~.*Partner*.~.*.~.*

From a Heart filled with expectation in faith

to a heart filled with suspicious in trust

Joy to Sorrow

Expectation to Disappointment

Conversation fill with coverage and lies

Proclaim with true heart but Continue with Sins

Pure honesty to Pure treachery

Declare to Love but Failed to Commit 

*.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.*

What had life meant to be in such Affliction

Where is the Flawless Trust?

Human - Human Relationship is

filled with divergence

*.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.*

Living in such Erroneous Life

How would things be right?

Trust no longer dwell in present

Who else can I lay my rest on?

*.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.*

It's just like a Wine Glass

filled in a Delicate and Well Conspired Glass

with Astringent, Racy and Ample Wine

Scattered and Disintegrated

to

Decrepitude

Intersperse to pieces of diminutive glass

*.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*.~.**.~.*

Reflection

A blink of eye
It's almost an year after my life have changed in 2011

Reflection of what happened during 2011,
still made a remarkable year in my life

Tons of changes happened and went through that brought me
whom am i today

A completely different person

Thinking back that time,
When storm came to my life,
it was around this period of time

When exams were near, time were limited
yet issues were booming up beneath of life

Suddenly It reminded me that my life wasn't as simple as that

What happened in the past, made who am i today

In the heaviest storm in life,
Counting my every single blessing that people around me have given

indeed, true enough in 2011
I lost 2 very precious people in my life

2 person whom no longer walk a journey in my life anymore

Departed to different junctions and paths that might not be
linked up again as in we were in the past

2 different people

Tremendous life events, lessons, understanding and even growth

I hereby thanks both of you for once walking in that journey with me

It have been a tremendous wonderful path whether was it happiness, sorrow
pain, joy or even heart breaking moments.

It all have been seeded beneath my memories that you were important in my life

Although lots of things play in role for all these happening,
but the happy memories have never faded..

One taught me:
-importance of appreciating the one that loved you
-crucial plays of timing in life events
-making the right choice to let go what have reaches its time limit
-learn the pain and sorrow of waiting for the one that loved
-importance of not taking ones presence for granted
-learnt to love the right one not the one that doesn't
-there's always a second choice in life
-let not be stubborn on own principal as it might hurt others
-Appreciation to best friend
-Shall not hide feeling
-Expression of joy and willing to share
-Be able to speak the truth out of own heart
-Learning to be humble and gentle upon others
-Self-pride worth nothing


One taught me:
-importance to respect own partner
-importance of freedom
-love the one that love you, not just the one you love
-learn to love myself before loving others
-learn to be sensitive and caring
-Importance of communication
-Importance of a strong relationship
-Mutual happiness in a relationship
-Most importantly, letting go what does not belongs

Many more i have learnt from these 2 individuals that changed my entire life to begin with

Nevertheless, receiving the best salvation in life in 2012..

Times past, our journey together have just moved on for a year..

I miss both of you but at the same time, I know there's no longer
the chance to reconcile until the days been planned to comes

Blessed to those that are humble to seek forgiveness and be gracious to forgive others...

Traces , Footsteps and Thankful Heart

18.09.2012

For every single person whose birthday is about to reach,
I'm sure most people would be excited how would they have fun , party, chillax, and go crazy with friends
However, this year my feeling for it was stressful and await for a particular someone

Before,
Days before,
My friends were discussing,
Would "she" wish you during your birthday as she did to us?
Well, i know deep down my heart; She wouldn't do so and I really anticipate for it
***However, she never wished or spoken to me on my birthday anyway***
-Apparently i was stressful back then and worry if it would come. I even told brothers and sisters around me
that i wouldn't wish my birthday ever come as I know i might be hurt.

on 17.09.2012,
I keep wishing that my birthday wouldn't be a hard one to go through.
People around me keep telling me,
"It's past.
You care too much about someone who doesn't care about you
Why do you have to carry so much burden in your back and caring for those that never value it."

"You been a very caring person for everyone around you although you might just care and concern in silent sometime, however the heart of yours have been felt by lots of people. And the people that you brought forth here and been impacted have foreseen the caring heart of yours"

"But past odd to keep it in the past, time will make it possible for reconciliation with those that have left. It will come to present one day or another. It's time to re-anew. Let go the past and move on forth"

I eventually still haven't been able to do so. But when time comes closer to the night,
Friends from places around started wishing beforehand,

Initially, my heart was still blunt and stress.
But when thing keep coming,
Blessing and wishes keep showering from above

It just made things so much easy.

I ended up speaking to friend that have not been in contact for ages
Keep in touch with one another.. Been chatting for a long time

I'm actually never alone.
It was myself that have been self-confining and being too stubborn on the past.

18.09.2012
It was midnight 0000 , was still talking with some friend

A particular friend i would really want to thank for is Ashley;
Although we ain't particular close but she always just so "good-timing" in checking me out
-never failed to lift up my stress and upset. Always been a very good and wonderful friend
to be able to know about my feeling, just like a snap away.

She said something really cute yet touching that actually filled my feeling a lot
"She didn't wish you then never mind, I would wish you twice "Happy Birthday" so you still receive the same amount of wishes even without her"

Really thankful for her encouragement and even stood firm and being such a cheerful person. t
Such a blessing!!!

----She started my birthday with a very encouragement words and make my heart started to accept blessing and wishes from others and make myself joyous and appreciate of my present and people around----

*****Around 4am, my Facebook been flooded with almost 100 wishes and blessing*****
Thanks you for all the blessing and wishes that rain/showered down my Facebook wall.. I actually reply them till i fall asleep.. Aiks


The afternoon, I woke up and attend Campus Lunch! theme was "Happy Hats"
Have a very good afternoon lunch with bunch of awesome people and able to rejoice with everyone there.
Although i didn't really tell it was my birthday but eventually it was really awesome.

Played some interesting ice-breaking games and everyone was happy and I was very happy and enjoying myself..

It ended at 2pm. Then my mind was thinking..
"Gosh, my day is ending and going to head home and rot "

****My day didnt ended just like that****
I bump into 2 of Lunch's friend , Josephine and Terrence
We ended up for a tea in the Albert St, Brisbane City at Tea Center.

Have an awesome tea session and the tea and environment was pleasant and unique.
-Great time !!

Along the way back,
I met Adonia at Myers Center.
A friend from QUT.
Went do some grocery shopping and catching with her for almost an hour in the mall.
Was interesting to always know more about a friend

****Honestly during that time, my phone keep prompting with Facebook notification of birthday wishes****
-Such a blessing that my days never stop being HAPPENING and Showering with Joy and Happiness

By time I'm Back home is almost 630
and leave again after 30min for meeting with some good brother and sisters
Spend some quality time with them fellowship and get to know more about life and gospel.

Interestingly time fly and it's already 930.

-Reach home I'm nearly exhausted. however I was shocked by my housemate and friend

They came into my room with a birthday cake and with few lovely ladies along..
Seriously i tell you, I'm so shy that i start to blush and was very happy to see all of them here
Just For Me..

Even though, things happening in their life was tiring and exhausting but still they make it up for my birthday

Everyone was really great!!

I'm so joyous and blessed...

And been talking to another friend back in KL for couples of hours.
An accountable and friendly friend whom is a lawyer .. Awesome yo!

****Facebook Notification never stopped prompting ****

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'* I realized one thing, I was never alone all these while. I'm surround with lots of wonder of the world and even with lots of great people and friend across the nation. Why would i be sorrow and frowning over someone that doesn't even have a forgiving and caring heart upon me? Isn't it very stupid when i start thinking back the time i wasted just to stress about that particular someone and made every single one around me to go through such hard time to convince my heart to raise up ~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~

I know it's long but this how my story went

FINALLY!

                    I would like to Thanks every single one of you whom really took the time to even dropping my Facebook to wish and shed a blessing upon my day. whether do i really know some of them or whether how much I have been not keeping in touch with them ; I'm humbly apologize for my  NoN-Sensitivity upon all the Friends that i have seldom keeping in touch and even some for many years.

                   I would also thanks my family for being such an encouraging family to keep me there all the time. and even Spiritually Family, Brothers and Sisters across the Nation whom been really supportive and encouraging. Indeed without any of you, i might not learn and cross this journey of my life and become a iconic person whom exhibit so much discomfort and discouragement at certain point of life. But your unfailing love and concern have always been in my heart. Thanks you Very Much

                 For every friend from past and presence; You guys made such a great blessing to me. Even a simple word of "Happy Birthday" i felt it was a great blessing for me. As i never really know how to appreciate blessing but on 18.09.2012, i learn to appreciate it so much and it filled me so so much!!
Thanks you for the blessing that comes from every corner of the nation and world. And i Honestly Felt all of your blessing deep down my heart.

    *Although till the end, the one i anticipated never came but its no longer important, It's PAST*

~*.'*~*.'*~*. ~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*THANKS YOU ~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*~*.'*FOR MAKING MY DAY~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'* SUCH A MEANINGFUL ONE~*.'*~*.'*~~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*

Signed off

with a 

Thankful and 

Gratitude Heart

Jason Yap (Jayz)

19.9.2012

~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*.'*~*

Love All that make a change in your life 

Appreciate what is there for you

Care for people regardless those that hurt or love you

Accept the Past, Proceed the Future

Letting Go is Tough, But it a Journey of Life

Past Shape who you are Today

Today and Future is a Choice of Own

Learn to LOVE

LOVE is the greatest grace given upon Mankind

Learn to love others as you have been loved

Love is a conduct

Love is a tolerance

Love is Caring

Love is Commitment

Love is Patience

Love is Humbleness

So Love with an open heart

Love the righteous one

等待

对你来说，

“等待” 

是一种幸福？

是一种痛苦？

是一种悲哀？

是一种快乐？

对我来说，

等待

是一种

慢性的毒药

孤单

心碎

绝望

悲伤

无奈

心痛

无助

只要等待才能 揭开心里想知道的

答案

心节

疑问

每一刻我都在等待

等待答案

等待注意

等待幸福

等待爱意

等待友谊

等待回答

等待某人

等待时间

等待，因为

舍不得

还期待

不放弃

还喜欢

还爱着

想守护

忘不了

想依赖

还想念

还怀念

等待的理由很单纯，很简单

就是为了某些人，某些事，某些念

人常会期待某样的事情，回忆，某人

我心里在等待的 人
 有你有她

--等待你的答案

--对我问题的答案

--我们的关系的回答

--等待你注意

--等待适合的时间

心里等待的事情

当回忆变成唯一的依靠

等待变成习惯

心里的节

再也开不了

因为在等待

一个没回应的答案

When There's is No Option

Some people doesn't dwell in the past
because a difficult choice had been made

When choice wasn't even an option

Seeking happiness in the pain was a struggle
to self deceived that you deserved someone better

Telling everyone how strong you are when you are weak beneath

When everything wasn't an option

You tried to live a life without the painful past
Telling yourself to "Let It Go"

Easy to say than to be done!

Worst of all is being humiliated by the one that left you by making it as if It was all your fault for what happened.

Complete Denial Complete Lies..
***Get a life by telling a truth than living in a life of your own made up world with lies***
***Apologize for what you done and Admit for what you had done***

That's how a responsible person should do!!


P.S : To Whom Ever it Concern,
Please identify the truth before speaking the lies..

And those that you lied to, are people that care for you
IF you wanna continue to lie, you are just hurting more people that care and love you

Just like how you hurt and lied to me.
It was you that made the choice to go to another guy
and it was you that let go of me

It was ONLY me that try to retain this relationship and NOT You

To your dearly friend,
You guys are good friends but at the same time is rather a "smart" people for living in lie by your friend
But i wouldn't critic on your wisdom and intelligent because It have been proven :)

May you guys grow Smarter in term of choosing the right and wrong and truth and lie...

I'm not sure

There's are time where
I'm not sure what I want

Time where I'm not sure
What should I do

Time where I'm not sure
How should I tell

Time where I'm not sure
Where should I go

Time where I'm not sure
Who is the one

In these year of 2012;
My life have went into a
life fill with Uncertainty.

Lots of changes
Came into my life

From:
-Relationship

-Attitude

-Behaviors

-Belief

-Social life

Things have been completely different
From who I am from the past

It's a point of life where
I'm not sure things are
Right or Wrong

-Relationship
I turned single for quite sometime now
Yet I have not decide to walk into it
Again; it's a way to protect myself
And even the people I care
It's all because I knew I'm just
Never good enough to
Deserve any lady for who I am
I'm a sinner that full with sins
Although my sins had been paid
But I still feel I'm unworthy
Regardless how much I try

I admit there are few lovely ladies
In my circle. But I'm really worry
That I could hurt another heart.
There is one that actually made me
Felt new and fresh as new
But is she the one that I really wanted?
Till now I never said a single word
To her; Timing wasn't very appropriate
As well. Though I know I would lose
Her if I never confessed; it just
Remind of another past of mine
For never confessing.
My life is fill with regret and resentment
In relationship
I had loved one so deeply in my life,
I had loved one so much and so long,
I had loved one that I should but
I never be with before;

I had lost one without a single words been said,
I had lost one due to present another party and left with lots of
Unanswered questions
I had lost one that avoided me for
Such a long time and make one's
Life dwell in myst

Am I really ready to move on to the next one?

One that we had met in such short time
One that we would be apart in 2 different places
One that we get to know each other in such a time of life

Are you the one for me?
Am I the one for you?

I'm not sure
What should I do

I'm not sure
How should I tell you

I'm not sure
Where our life will end

Together?
Apart?
Missing?
Or just another by-passer?

Obviously

Sometime we ought to do thing too obvious don't we?

当时的我们

你还记得吗？
我想念那是的我们
如果你能看得见
我想跟你说
那位朋友就是你
请你回我吧

我不知道你能看见吗
可是我希望你能
逃避并不是好办法

为何你在逃避我呢？
难道，我真的不值得你浪费一秒的时间吗？

我有东西要给你
希望你能过给我一点点的时间

我有话想跟你说

Interesting compatible matches

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.434429883248365.101497.184927488198607&type=1

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.211833545575836.50596.211120742313783&type=3

The First Step 踏出第一步

许多人说

能过做到第一个人踏出第一步

就能改变许多事情

Many saying said that,
able to be the first person to step out the first step
capable of changing numerous of things around

可是，事实并是那么简单直接

很多勇敢的踏出那一步

可是不能过得到妳的回答

就是永远在等待答案

But, things isn't as easy as it is
lots of courage man, took the first step
however haven't gotten a reply
end up waiting forever for an answer

当你，

想起一位朋友

还是一个在你生命中曾经对你很重要的人

你会很想拿起勇气来和她对话

可是往往你在他心目中不再是任何人

比陌生人更陌生

感觉真的是很奇怪吧？

When you,
start to think of a friend
or someone whom once an important person in your life
and you wanted to take up the courage to speak to them
but sadly to know that, you are no longer anyone in them
even foreign than a stranger
How weird does that feeling felt like?

如果有一天，你想起他

也拿起了勇气去找他

踏出那一步,

可是她并不回你

真的失望和伤心

If one day, you miss her
took up the courage to look for her
step out the first step
but she never look back at you
that's really disappointing and painful

也许踏出那一步

能然你人生改变了许多的变化

那一步就像把你人生改变了

新一个开始，新一种接触

Maybe, taking the first step
might eventually change your life
a step which completely turned over
a new start, a new approaches

在人生中许多事情是勉强不来

也许并不是你的就不轮到你去拥有

可能就是注定了吧？！

In life, lots of things doesn't come in your way
maybe it's just not yours, and it wouldn't be yours
probably it's destined to be as it is

当人生走到一段路程，

人生会开始改变，

人会成长了，会懂事了，

人的生命如期简单,

可以很复杂

When life reach a distance
Life would start to change
People grown up, became matured
Life is rather that simple
at the same time is rather complicated as well

可是为何要那么固执呢？

不如把事情放在上帝的手中，

相信他会把你人生安排好

But why do we need to be so stubborn on certain things?
Why not put faith in God
Trust that He would plan your life in his way

踏出第一步不是那么简单

至少给我，一点都不简单

我拿去了很多的勇气

来踏出那一步

Taking the first step isn't easy at all
At least for me, it's ain't easy
It took lots of courage
to step out this first step

可是我并得不到你的回答

一句也没有

我真的很希望能过再和你寻找以前的我们

我懂得时间不能回到过去

But yet i couldn't get an answer from you
Not even a word
I really hope that we could seek back our past
I knew time is irreversible

错过以前就不能 再有以后吗？

至少也告诉我如何能改变

难道原谅是那么难吗？

Couldn't there be future even though we missed out the past?
At least acknowledged me what to change
Is forgiving so difficult for you?

并不是没爱过，并不是没好过

并不是没快乐过，并不是没在一起过

为何能变到如此地陌生？

Not that we never love before, Not that we never in a good relationship
Not that we never had joyous memories, Not that we never been together
Why are we like stranger now?

难道不说话，不见面 就能够忘掉过去吗？

至少告诉我原因比好过一句也不回我

Does remain silent, unseen would forget what we been through in the past?
At least let me know a single word, rather than an unanswered question

也许我曾经做过对不起你的事，

也许我曾经做过一个负心人，

也许我曾经让你有个很不愉快，

我就想向你道歉，对你不起

Probably i did something against you
Probably i have hurt you in the past
Probably I gave you a bad moment in the past
I would like to seek your forgiveness, I'm Sorry

我不能肯定你会看见

也许永远也不会看看得到

可是我想你知道,没事情是不能过回头望的

I'm not sure whether would you see this
Or maybe you wouldn't see it in your life
But i really want you to know, nothing is impossible
even looking back at the past

我踏出那一步来和你对话也并不简单

踏出那一步来写这个部落格也不是很愉快一件事

可是我想你知道，你在我人生的路程是很重要

可能你不知道，可能我没对你说过

也许我们有许多误会，不过也至少给大家一个机会　

Taking this first step to start a conversation with you isn't simple
Taking the first step to write this blog wasn't a very joyful act
but i want you to know, in my life you played an important part of it
Maybe you might not know, maybe i have not said it
maybe we have lots of misunderstanding, but at least give us a chance to clarify

当时的我们如何快乐的在一起

那些并不是过去，

那些时刻还在我脑海里

我们的经过，我们的努力

我们的时刻，我们的友情

我们的爱情，我们的接触

The joyous memories we once had in past
That's ain't past
Those memories lies in my memory like it was just yesterday
Our path being together, our hardship
Our Moment, Our Friendship
Our Love, Our Approach

难道在你心里一点也不存在吗？

还是你把它藏起来了？

不辛苦吗？

快乐吗？

Does they not exist even a bit in your heart or memories?
Have you hidden it?
Isn't it painful?
Are you happy?

我真的很想找回你

I really wish to find you back

Jayz

The one loved me, I hurt her

The one I loved, She hurt me

I'm always struggling in this midst of confusion

The Untold Story

Days goes by
Work load increase

I don't know why i feel so fatigue
What have been holding deep under my heart?

Looking through the photos,
the memories that we once had
All seem to fading away in you

Probably the one don't wish to move forward is me alone
I know there's no turning back

Am i happy with what i have?
I don't know
I might be putting a smile on my face
but deep down i felt loneliness accompany me all the while

I been seeking someone to fill up that loneliness
i realize it's not possible

I can't accept anyone new
I lost confidence in myself
I felt its never the same again

I tried to confront you
But everything is pointless

"What is there to talk when we never talk in the past"
How True is that?

I don't know whether losing you in my life was a great impact
I probably been relying on you all these while
Someone that could listen to me and able to disperse my problem into dust

You could have been long away in my life
but do i miss you?
Yes I do

I never able to remove everything i had about you
Even now,
Everything from Day 1 till the last day
Still exist in my database

I felt an indescribable feeling within me
I feel fatigue all the time, walking alone
Parent and Friend could be a listener
but the feeling is so different when it is you

I wish someone could fill in the place
I just need someone who i can speak to without worrying anything
I realize i have self-depression without aware of it
I tend to find way to cheer myself up, but it was only a temporary solution
I still felt loneliness deep under

You are irreplaceable.

There's a saying
If you Love someone,
even you let him/her go.
It will return back at some point in life

Why do i miss someone like you?
that i should be hating so much?

The more you love, the more you hate?
At the same time, the more you hate, the more you miss
The greater the pain

If thing could be much more direct and naive
It would be a greater way to over look thing

I'm really Tired
I wish not to move on

But I'm loaded with too much work and due date which i couldn't stop moving on

很多微笑，明知道虚伪却还强挤着笑容；

很多回忆，明知道痛心却还是无法释怀；

很多时候，明知道厌倦却始终一成不变；

很多放弃，明知道美好却始终不甘离去；

很多渴望，明知道无用却始终想得到理解；

很多束缚，明知道拉扯，却还是摆脱不了；

很多事情，明知道结局却还是想停也停不下

亲爱的自己，

亲爱的自己，
好好爱自己，没人会心疼你。


如果不开心了就找个角落或者在被子里哭一下，
你不需要别人同情可怜。


亲爱的自己，
学会控制自己的情绪，谁都不欠你，
所以不要随便跟人发脾气耍性子。


亲爱的自己，
全世界只有一个你，
就算没有人懂得欣赏，
你也要好好爱自己。

Don't Guess, Just say it all out

GIRL:

I broke up with him today.
I told him I wasn’t happy.
He didn’t even ask why.
I thought he would ask me to stay.
But he didn’t. He just let me go.
And just like that,
I lost the guy I waited for so long.

GUY:

She broke up with me today.
She said she wasn’t happy.
I was too hurt to ask why.
I wanted to stop her from leaving.
But if she’s not happy with me, there’s no way I can make her stay.
So I just let her go.
Just like that,
I lost the girl I’ve been dreaming of for so long..


Citated from
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=358236744206983&set=a.181708095193183.40411.145264895504170&type=1&theater

Genetic X Obesity

            As most people know that obesity is one of the rising issues in people from all ages in developed country. The incidence of obesity rapidly increasing in adulthood and childhood whereby obesity has reached epidemic proportions globally with more than 1 billion adults are overweight.

            The main issue is does increase consumption of energy dense food causes obesity or it is cause by genetic?

            Geneticist in Cambridge discovered two defective copies of gene call Ob from in obese children, which inhibit leptin production known to suppress appetite and metabolism in mice. Further research discovered that mice that are injected with leptin experience rapid weight lost. Could this be the cure for human obesity?

On the other hand, researchers discovered a hereditary mutation in gene ENPP1 that cause insulin resistance maybe the casusative factor that contribute to obesity in children and onset of type II diabetes. The risk of obesity is associated with gene variant.

On top of that, a common genetic variant change in a region of DNA known as INSIG2 been identified to associate with obesity which has a role in fat production. This was proven by US researchers led by Alan Herbert at Boston University Medical School, found that two copies of the C variant is 22% more likely to have BMI greater than 30.

So does genetic have any relationship with obesity?

Then have you wonder why do some individuals does not gain weight by eat pile of foods whilst some that rapidly gaining weird regardless of the amount of food consumption? According to Mark McCarthy, University of Oxford, he discovered that every two altered copies of FTO gene would put 3kilograms heavier compare to the normal copies and increases the risk of obesity by 30% for every single altered copy of FTO.

Researches from University of California, Berkeley identified a gene known as DNA-PK that plays a critical regulatory role in conversion of dietary carbohydrate to fat which prevent obesity to over-consumption of high carbohydrate diet. It proven that mice fed with high percentage of carbohydrate with DNA-PK disable were leaner due to deficiency of conversion of carbohydrate into fat.

Based on the above researches and finding, does obesity really related to genetic? Well, personally I do agree that genetic play a major role in human life as it manipulate every single cell in our body and its metabolism.

References

1.      NewScientist, Gene makes some people fatter 21 April 2007, viewed 20^th March 2012

< http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19426005.800-gene-makes-some-people-fatter.html>

2.      NewScientist, Common genetic changed linked to obesity 13 April 2006, viewed 20^th March 2012

< http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn9002-common-genetic-change-linked-to-obesity.html>

3.      NewScientist, Michael Day, Obesity may lie in the genes 28 June 1997, viewed 20^th March 2012,

< http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg15420880.900-obesity-may-lie-in-the-genes.html>

4.      NewScientist, Gaia Vince, Faulty gene linked to obesity and diabetes 18 July 2005, viewed 20^th March 2012

< http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn7687>

5.      ScienceDaily, Mice with disable gene that help turn carbs into fat stay lean despite feasting on high-carb diet, 19 March 2009, viewed 20^th March 2012

< http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090319132919.htm>

42722937

感触

今晚放学后天也黑了。

眼前的路行人也少了。

突然间听见有人在我后面的脚步声、

转头往就看见红毛人。

他的脚步也没比我快可是慢慢的他就在我前面。 

让我想起人生一个道理 

＂条件比人差别叹气，

而努力捕长短＂，

＂先苦后甜＂ 

人一出生就已经有自定长短

 没人是完美。

 只有懒人

和

肯努力的人

 是否你是那一种

是看自己！ 

 加倍努力一定能比人好

 做好自己，

努力过就好 人比人，

比死人！ 

没有必定，

可是有一定 

把目标放远一点， 

把理想放大一点

 可是别把希望放的

太远和高 

望的高失望跟高。

 对爱和感情也一样。

 没有必定的爱你的人除了你家人

 没有必定关心你的人除了真心人

 没有必定的朋友，朋友又来又去 

朋友多没有用

如果没有一个能看见

你藏在笑容里的泪水。 

只有失去过才懂得珍惜。

 你有对你放弃他的人说对不起吗？

 原谅自己，放开自我， 

说声道歉总比好过把事情藏在心里。 

可能，他人阵在等你会回头一望？
总比好过在猜别人的心吧？

处女座

处女座 
8月23-9月22日


吵架时，处女女爱说狠话。
当她转身走后，她多么希望你能追上来紧紧抱住她，
哪怕说一句：不要走，我需要你。都有可能让她回头。
若你放她走，那她所说的狠话都有可能成真，处女女看似坚强其实很脆弱。




没有安全感 没有方向 却有目标知道自己喜欢什么不喜欢什么。
周末喜欢一个人宅在家 喜欢宁静的生活
但这种宁静的生活又令自己想太多 精神上折磨自己 自虐狂。
也许生活中没有对错 只是信仰不同
你甚至会问自己非要无止境地折磨自己吗 纠结完之后纠结 这就是处女座。
你愿意去爱这个处女座吗？



女座无论对亲情友情爱情也有很大的触动，
特别是在离别的时候，尽管他不肯用言语去表达自己的内心，
但是他的心里却是非常的不舍，眼泪也在心里不断地流。
他对你好，就绝不会绝情，因为他在乎你这个人不舍得你走。
嗯，这就是处女座，口是心非的处女座



当处女座爱上一个人时就连自我也无法分清；
当处女座爱上一个人时会自卑地认为自己不够好；
处女座爱上一个人时把自己的自尊也忘掉；
处女座爱上一个人时一反常态 收起大大咧咧的性格来迎合喜欢的人。
但你不能说处女座为什么会那么傻 这只是处女座爱人的一种方式



【处女座爱情上的优点】
顽皮、友好、自然有灵性、接纳、体贴、投入、不拘泥、体谅、容忍、慈善。
【处女座爱情上的缺点】
古怪、有些不可靠、自我中心、冷酷、冷淡、很难承诺、反复权衡、变化无常。
【处女喜欢的】
浪漫的感觉、被欣赏、稳定、被需要、被一种神秘力量所笼罩、被别人鼓励自己的梦。


处女座们总是给自己希望；处女座的人总是爱逞强；
处女座的人总是不相信所谓命运；
处女座的人总是遇强愈强；
处女座的人总是成全别人却废了自己；
处女座的人总是被占有欲特强；
处女座的人总是不轻言放弃；
处女座的人总是替别人找借口安慰自己；
处女座的人总在爱情面前丢掉了尊严。



【我就是这么一个处女座】
1.谁对我好我就对谁好；
2.只要你把我当回事,你的事就是我的事；
3.你把事办明白,我就不能差你事；
4.朋友要交就真心实意,不是就你会玩心眼；
5.不要整虚情假意的事,谁对我好我知道；
6.拿我当回事的,有事不用你说话,我肯定到位；
7.众口难调,我做不到让所有人喜欢我。



处女座：
在有时候，我会突然不自信；
有时候，我会拿不出勇气；
有时候，我会假装很快乐；
有时候，我也会任性；
我会为小小的事掉眼泪；
我也会为小小的事兴奋睡不著；
一直以来，我都觉得自己不够好，我承认，我不算完美，但是我很真。


处女座有时不知道自己为什么如此难过，
甚至连快乐都像是博爱的标点，
处女有时很沉默，沉默到令旁人纠结这是不是冷漠的人。
其实处女并不吝啬告诉他人自己的秘密，
也不很关心他人私事，就像为自己的生命划定了范围和原则，
但遇到事情，处女的情绪很颠簸很脆弱，痴情和怀旧就能轻而一举把TA们击个粉碎。



【较真的处女座】较真指数：95% 说起较真，有谁能比得过处女座呢？
处女座思维严谨，追求完美有时候能达到苛刻的程度，许
多处女座都拥有一张刻薄的嘴。
任何一件小事都可能成为他们较真的对象，
“我有较真吗？没有啊，这不是在沟通吗，我在说事实啊，我有错吗？


处女低调，内向忧郁，常装出一副严厉的姿态，
给人感觉很冷漠，其实内心是火热的，很善良，不容易拒绝别人，
尤其是自己看重的人，受伤了就会想要逃避，多数是吃软不吃硬！
脾气很大，但是对事不对人！
他们凡事都想靠自己完成，不想周围人为他操心，
他们很重视面子。很少有人真正了解处女座。


处女座关于爱情，其实突然崩盘也好，渐渐离去也好，
最终的结局都是一样的，时光流逝如大江东去，
纵然在岸边徘徊千遭，重拾往日的温情也根本不可能了。
不需要有曲折的过程，对于很久以前的恋情，
处女座知道自己是回不去的。唯一能够做的，也许就是，刻骨铭心的记住，罢了!!


【处女座什么都比别人多一点】
多情、多心、多疑、多变、多嘴、多问、多骂、多理、多爱、多恶、多事、多深、多算、多恨、多念、多念、多真、多喝、多苦、多忙、多怕、多愁、多猜、多梦、多虑什么都比别人多一点。因为太神经质，太敏感，太左思右想，因此不能享受真正的轻松。



处女座不喜欢激烈的东西，觉得危险不可靠。
喜欢营造自己的生活圈，在固定的时间见固定的人，去固定的饭馆，吃固定的饭菜。
不相信一见钟情，太过热情的男生，只远观。很慢热，耐得住寂寞，
对待感情绝对宁缺毋滥。玩得起暗恋，也经得起暗恋的折磨。
概括之：自然、安稳、纯粹、实在


处女座在生气的时候会说出很难听的话去伤害对方以维护自己所谓的面子，
等到冷静下来回想自己的行为和语言时，常懊恼不已。
处女总在伤害总在反思总在后悔。处女的心不是坏的，
但总在最后是弄巧成拙。请原谅这样的处女



很多人都不看好处女座，认为他们霸道、个人主义、占有欲极强......等等一切。
但是，处处们其实并非所想的那样“理所当然”。
我有占有欲，但我很隐忍；我们有能力领导、统一，
及保护我们爱的人，爱生活爱家人爱朋友，对于所爱的人，我们可以通过牺牲来换取他们的笑脸。我想说，这一切是很伟大的。



处女座是一个要求完美的星座，
那么在爱情上也是这样的，他们决不允许自己离婚，
虽然有的时候感觉两个人时间久了，
没有了激情，但是他们知道自己是无法离开另一半的，
而且他们也决不允许离婚一词出现在自己人生的字典里面，
所以知道自己不能放弃，那么不如努力的让自己和另一半快乐起来，这样才会幸福



【处女座特性你占了几条？】
1、喜欢孤单，又害怕孤单
2、没有安全感，却会给别人安全感
3、爱得起，放得下；
4、喜欢折磨人，一会儿好，一会儿坏
5、喜欢自欺欺人，一直说以后一切都会好
6、重感情，温柔的星座；爱哭，却从不在他人面前流泪。
7、很善良，体贴，坚强，有时爱幻想，伤心时没有金钱观念。


【处女座】
有些小虚荣，爱情至上，勇于去爱，享受被恋人欣赏和拥护的满足感。
说话直率，常以老大的口气劝导朋友，但自己往往做出飞蛾扑火的事情。
外表开朗坚强，内心彷徨而阴暗。处女座本真的一面很吸引很可爱，
行动力强，感染力也强；复杂的一面里夹杂野性、另类、冷漠、自我、彷徨



处女座的人外表冷冰冰，内里热辣辣，甚至爱恨交加。
爱将面孔拉长，待人总冷冰冰，令人不敢接近。交
往的时间稍长便会让人了解他们是可以深交的人。
和处女座的人谈恋爱，就像吃拔丝香蕉，外酥内软外冷内热。
外面和里面的情况完全相反，冷的时候令人吃惊，热的时候叫人更加吃惊。



处女座另类，双重性格，甚至有点神经质，状态好的时候，
可以将自己聪明、细腻、完美、光芒四射，可以表现得非常外向、健谈。
状态不好时，他们缺乏安全感，喜欢躲起来不说话，
这个时候，作为他们的爱人就要给他更多的关怀与安全感。


如果你爱处女女，那么请你原谅她的任性、固执、幼稚、胡闹、霸道、自私、冷漠、顽皮、懒惰、偏激、叛逆……
对于在乎的人，处女女的所有喜怒哀乐才会在爱的人面前表现出来，处女女也不完美，这样的处女女你还会爱吗？



处女女是没有安全感的孩子，爱音乐，非常爱，怕黑，却习惯晚睡，
喜欢隐藏真正的心事，喜欢有口袋的衣服，否则会不知道手放在哪里，
习惯抱臂，习惯冷战，有时会突然不知所措，
喜欢窗户，喜欢蜷缩，喜欢写字和阅读，有时会莫名的孤单，
感到无法抗拒的恐惧感，不爱说话又很爱说话。



【嫁个处女座老公的十大好处】
1、处女男是一支绩优股；
2、处女男天生乐观；
3、处女男生性直爽；
4、处女男才思敏捷；
5、处女男处事精通；
6、处女男冲劲十足；
7、处女男笔比较传统；
8、处女男适应力强；
9、处女男有幽默感；
10、拥有处女男，是一种福气。
和处处男恋爱的你们是幸福滴~~~



不要惹处女座的人，不要欺负处女座，敏感的处女最害怕受伤；
处女座很不容易发脾气，再低三落四的事，
ta也能硬着头皮过；若果真的生气了，处处会不计后果的发疯；
如果，处处生气了，那事情是真的严重了；
别人眼中的开心果，似乎很坚强，内心只有处处自己知道



处女座男人莫名其妙的生气一直是他们的天生技能，你百思不得其解，
但他总是不到最后一刻不说出由来。
总爱为鸡皮蒜皮的事情吃醋，典型的超大男人主义兼并完美主义，
得不到他们想要的完美答复就一直冷战下去。这就是处女座



逃避是处女座男生的习惯，他们对自己渴望的东西总是先退到一边，
似乎毫不关心然后突然扑上去。他们没有很强的适应能力，却有天生的领悟力。
他们以自我为中心，懂得自我保护，他们最害怕孤独，但又注定了孤独。
他们有很多秘密，他们把真实的自己藏于夜半的寂静和午间笑声的明朗中。



处女座总是有很多想法，总是追求最好，总是很心软，总是为别人着想，
总是在做错事时先责怪自己，恋爱中的处处总是认为做什么都不对，
总是想把最好的留给对方。处处很善良，没有真正的仇人，
别人对他的伤害总是很快忘记并宽容对方，处处还是个固执的偏执狂


处女座追求井井有条,不停将问题抽丝剥茧，所以容易神经质和强迫症。
总觉得自己达不到最佳状态自然伤不起，悲观的处女座是最孤独的。
孤独因为对完美的苛求和不能达到理想的痛苦，
想要做得更好,结果总是欠一点，於是只能悲观地孤独下去。
完美之下斯人独憔悴




Citation:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.390483230976364.94562.184927488198607&type=3